David has reminded me MANY times in the past year that I say I value embracing adventure in life since we quickly moved our family from our cozy home out into the wilderness 8 months ago...sometimes your words come back to bite you in the rear huh? He gets a big kick out of reminding me that I'm "adventurous" these days. :)
Meet David and Jacie
David
likes Jacie. Jacie likes David. Mostly they find that they are on the same
page in how they view the world and what values hold extreme importance in
their lives. They agree upon:
-Being
cheerful/seeking joy
-Being
dependable
-Living
with endurance
-Being
honest/having integrity
-Courteous,
compassionate, and sincere service
-Being
generous with time, talent and treasure
-Living
in love-letting love guide actions with others and lead their own family.
Family being a priority for both David and Jacie.
-Being
humble
While
discussing these important values they come across many “ME TO!” smiley moments
where they applaud their success as an awesome couple. Yay for David and
Jacie. However, even awesome couples such as David and Jacie can’t agree on
everything. There are many, many things
David and Jacie butt heads on and wouldn’t you know it, their list of family
values hit a snag.
“Understanding, that is a facet of compassion
right?” Jacie points out. “Not really,
that isn’t what I meant by understanding” David disagrees. Well okay, off to the dictionary they go.
Definition
of UNDERSTANDING
1: a mental grasp: comprehension
2A: the power of comprehending;
especially: the capacity to apprehend general relations of particulars.
2B: the power to make experience
intelligible by applying concepts and categories.
3A: friendly or harmonious
relationship.
3B: an agreement of opinion or
feeling: adjustment of differences.
3C: a mutual agreement not formally
entered into but in some degree binding on each side.
4: explanation, interpretation
5: sympathy
Upon
reading the definitions offered Jacie mentally sighs “here we go” as she
immediately grasps which one David tuned in to and disagrees entirely.
Enter
the odd couple traits.
“I
am absolutely, not at all, in any way, putting know-it-all-pain-in-the-rear in
our family value statement!” pours out of Jacie as tension bubbles to the
surface, “that is not going to be a value that we strive to inflict
upon…er…teach our children! "Now girls, listen carefully to me. You must seek to
know everything from every possible angle and suck all fun out of any situation
you happen across in life…no way!” nope, nope, nope. David manages to regard Jacie quietly and
listen to her mini rant with only a simple “what?” in response and our awesome couple moves along. Shortly thereafter, they come across
Adventurous on Jacie’s list. Second snag!
“What
exactly do you mean by adventurous?” David asks, carefully trying not to step on
toes but showing disinterest in the idea. That question takes our awesome
couple to Jacie’s list of values, complete with definitions, synonyms that reinforce
her stance on the word and scriptures that support the value. Sometimes, when it matters, Jacie is
detail-oriented but the list is written in a crazy font to take the edge of organization
off.
1. Embrace Adventure- inclined or willing to engage
in adventures or challenges. Accepting of risk, requiring courage. Unflinching, Resolute, Dream, Persevere.
1 Chronicles 28:20
Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.
Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.
This leads to a fun conversation about the odd couple traits- those few things about one
another that grate against personal preferences, much like nails on a chalkboard. Reviewing those traits…
Revisit David
David
is analytical.
David
is slow to speak or take action.
David
is a thinker.
David
is stubborn.
David
is quiet and introspective.
David
likes to “logic the crap out of things”.
These
are deeply programmed traits within David that he uses regularly in daily
life.
Revisit Jacie
Jacie
is loud and spontaneous.
Jacie
is impulsive.
Jacie
is a feeler.
Jacie
is quick to make a decision and kind of crazy.
Jacie
is stubborn and can be mean.
Jacie
likes to “dream big first, plan details last…if at all”.
These
are deeply programmed traits within Jacie that she uses regularly in daily
life.
Ugh…David
and Jacie…Ugh. These differences cause problems. Jacie says “let’s cut work for the day and go
to the zoo! Maybe tonight after dark we can take the girls to the playground!" David shudders. David says “Calm down
and think about this!" Jacie narrows her eyes and prepares to battle. It
doesn’t always work. Neither way is wrong, neither way will ever change (note
the dually stubborn), sadly neither way meshes perfectly with the other.
These
differences lead to a torn discussion over the values of understanding and
being adventurous- each super important to one but easily discounted by the
other. David mostly supports the
synonyms for adventurous but dislikes categorizing them under adventure. Jacie supports the idea of taking time to
understand situations as they arise and figure out how to address them
appropriately but not to the extent of non-action and joy-sucking, in moderation
so to speak.
How do David and Jacie find
common ground to incorporate these important things into their family? Well…that’s another edition of See Spot Run, or
See Hollingsworths Work…whichever you prefer.
The End
Meet the author
Jacie
is one half of the dynamic duo known here as the awesome couple. She is married
to Mr. Awesome and loves him more than he knows. She’s happy and
admittedly awesome, loves her family and enjoys life. She is often referred to
as Mighty Mom by the two sweetest girls in the universe. Why are you still reading this? Go do
something productive!